Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
