i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
