i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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