Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
