You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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