But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
