There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
