is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
