Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
