she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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