She's JV to your varsity
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
