It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize
