can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
