I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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