great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
