She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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