what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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