glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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