Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
