I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
