Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
