Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
