Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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