I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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