Do you still have your period?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
