Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
