it was like his penis was on wheels.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
