i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
we made out on top of his cat.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
so much tequila, so little girl.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
