did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
