Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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