two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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