"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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