I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
