We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
