So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
