so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
