Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
