you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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