Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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