This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
