If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
