So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
