I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
