we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
