Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
