I'm jealous of your bromance
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
