I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
