She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
