Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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