Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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